Showing posts with label Wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wedding. Show all posts

Oddball Indian wedding rituals



If you thought wedding ceremonies can't get more bizarre than the groom breaking a wine glass by stepping on it at a Jewish wedding, or the Finnish bride going from door to door with a pillowcase to collect her wedding gifts accompanied by an old man with an umbrella, think again.
Not only are Baltic or Greek wedding traditions peculiar, some of our very own rituals surrounding the wedding can be as off-the-wall. True, a wedding brings happy tidings to the family, but it is after all the eclectic rituals associated with it that make for real memories.
The most common perception of a Hindu wedding is the lighting up of the Vedic fire around which the bride and groom walk seven times while the priest chants mantras. Assumingly for the sake of brevity, almost all television series or cinema dealing with a Hindu wedding conjures up an image similar to this. Then what about the many awkward and flamboyant rituals that precede or succeed it, rituals that are unique to every culture, rituals that are perhaps relevant no more but lovingly adhered to. 

With the wedding season upon us, let's vet some truly obscure Indian wedding traditions that evoke emotions ranging from laughter, grimace, scorn, tears, to sheer amusement. 

Bengali weddings: That the mother of the bride is not supposed to see the wedding is common knowledge. But did you know that on the day of the wedding, married women from the bride's family rise at the break of dawn and arrange a plate of aarti complete with sweets, twigs and incense, and go over to invite the Ganges to the wedding of their daughter. The holy river is believed to bless the girl in her future life. 

Bihari weddings: This could be a rather curious post-wedding ritual performed by any groom's-side-of-the-family on bringing the bride home. Here an eager, expectant bride suddenly finds herself grappling with a huge earthen pot set on her head by her mother-in-law. Without losing time, few more pots are added to the pile while she is expected to bow down and touch the elders' feet. As the dramatic scene is played out, all and sundry gather to see how many pots the new bride actually balances, which is ostensibly an indicator of her skills at striking a balance in the family. 

Tribal wedding in UP: Sarsaul, a small town in Kanpur district has given a new dimension to wedding hospitality. In keeping with the tradition, the baaratis here are not greeted with flowers and rose water spray, instead tomatoes and potatoes are hurled at them followed by a round of choicest abuses. Your sides might hurt imaging such a welcome, but the tradition takes root in the belief that a relationship that doesn't begin on a not-so-happy note always culminates in love. 

Rabha weddings in Assam: The weddings of the Rabha tribes of Assam is an aesthetic affair. Performed as per Gandharva marriage tradition, the ceremony involves a simple exchange of garlands - no pheras around the fire, and a lavish feast to round it up with. An extremely patriarchal ritual, the newly wed on their first day together at the boy's family home is expected to give a hand in cooking the afternoon meal and serve only to the male, elderly members of the family. For the rest, food is served in subsequent batches by the helpers. 

Malayalee weddings: How much the rest of the world frets about keeping the auspicious time for the wedding, tell this to the Nairs of Kerala and you'll manage a wry smile out of them. For them, the auspicious time is when they set out from their homes to marry in a temple or the ancestral home of the girl, and not the actual muhurat of the wedding. Like all Malayalee weddings, this too happens at daytime. A serene white wedding with a generous flash of gold jewellery, the bride and groom walk around the mandapam thrice - not seven times. 

Kumaoni weddings: The use of flags in the marriage ceremony sets Himachali weddings apart. Traditionally, a white flag called 'Nishan' leads the marriage procession representing the bridegroom, followed by drummers, pipers and a white palanquin carrying the groom. The last man of the procession carries another flag, of red colour, representing the bride. When the marriage party returns from the girl's home after completing all ceremonies, the red flag takes the lead followed by a red palanquin of the bride, succeeded by the white palanquin of the groom, and the white flag at the tail end of the procession. 

Tamil Brahmin weddings: At an Iyer wedding, just as the groom is about to step into the mandapam for the actual wedding ceremony, he has a change of mind and decides to pursue 'sanyaasam' (asceticism). An age-old Brahmin tradition 'Kasi Yaatrai' this, the bride's father too plays his part of a distressed father by reaching out to the groom and convincing him to take up 'Grahastham' (family life) with his daughter who would in turn support him in his spiritual pursuit. Umbrella, Bhagwad Gita, hand fan and sandals are the props used by the bride's father to win his would-be-son-in-law back. 

10 Superb ways to impress your mum-in-law


Kitchen tales: Ask her for tips when you cook
You can do a lot to stop your mom-in-law from turning into monster-in-law. Here are some simple steps that can help you develop a great rapport with her. 

Do your homework: Ask your husband for the issues that she may be touchy about. You may not know about family feuds and other such issues, so don't give your opinion before you know all the details. Also, get to know what she likes. If she loves saas-bahu serials then try and talk to her about it. It may be the ice-breaker that may lead to a great relationship with her.

Bring gifts: Won't you love it if a guests comes to your house with a gift in his/her hand. Similarly, you mother-in-law will appreciate your love for her a great deal more if you take some gifts for her every now and then.

Dress well: If you are out to impress, don't go dressed in clothes that are not ironed and hair that's not brushed properly. And skimpy clothes are a strict no-no. Similarly, it would do you good to not reveal the tattoo on your spine during your first meeting.

Don't compete with her: Accept the fact that a mother is bound to be possessive about her son. So, don't try and tell her how to cook for him. Even if your husband prefers your cooking to hers, don't point it out to her. Give her compliments about her culinary skills and even take recipes from her. A little flattery doesn't hurt, does it?

Be polite: If you can't be overtly nice, then at least be polite. Don't overrule what she has to say. Also, don't get into an argument or debate with her during your first meeting.

Call her often: To make sure that you communicate well with your mom-in-law call her at frequent intervals. Don't wait for her to call you. She will appreciate the fact that you keep in touch over the phone even when you can't be around.

Seek advice: Regardless of whether or not you plan to take it, take their advice. Your spouse's parents will be glad to feel that they still have some influence on their child's life.

Present a united front: Even if you have certain issues with your mom-in-law, don't wash the dirty linen in public. When you are attending a family event make sure that you don't pass snide remarks or discuss you differences in public.

Treat your spouse well in front of them: Parents are obviously very possessive about their kids, and the best way to earn their respect is to treat their child well.

Relax: The most important thing is to not get too nervous, your mother-in-law is bound to be as nervous about meeting you. Secondly, learn to forgive and forget. This simple rule will make your life a lot easier.